Blog

No one at the altar ever believes they’ll face their spouse in the courtroom, but divorce happens in nearly half of all marriages.

If you’ve tried unsuccessfully to work out your issues and a divorce seems imminent, you first step is to figure out what kind of divorce you want. Will it be filled with rancor or can it be done amicably? Most couples would choose a stress-free approach, especially when there are children. If this is your goal, here are a few suggestions.

Choose a like-minded lawyer. Yes, you need one because legal and financial rights, and perhaps your children’s futures, are at stake. Try to understand what your attorney is saying, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Good lawyers will tell you the truth about options and likely outcomes. Questionable lawyers will keep your anger fueled, but they get richer in the fallout – not necessarily you.

Do your financial homework. You, and hopefully your spouse, will assemble the financial facts related to your lives together, including income, liens and loans which are outstanding, account balances, and the upcoming obligations and needs of the children. The more financial information that is openly shared, the less time and money will be needed for “discovery” with your lawyers.

Consider a sit-down meeting. If you and your spouse reach an impasse, initiate a sit-down meeting with your respective lawyers or embark on lawyer-assisted mediation. Aim for a solution before the case goes to trial. Trials are arduous, and it’s hard to measure who has won when the legal and emotional costs are factored in.

No divorce is ever easy. Issues are bound to arise that delay a peaceful settlement. But reaching a result amicably is a worthy and achievable goal and often possible.